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i am simply confused about what proper term to use. anyway, i've just joined the site today. hoping to clear some of the questions about the laws of concubinage/adultery.

i am asking in behalf of my sister, the victim. she is currently working in canada. her husband and daughter lives with us. i have long doubted my brother in law's fidelity to my sister but since we have no valid evidence, we couldnt prove that he is cheating.

Just until recently, i saw my brother in law with a girl in a fastfood chain. I was with my boyfriend and my 3 friends.

days before that, my niece told me about his father's escapades while we were out of the house. (coz my mom, bf & i went for a vacation out of town) her story was this, her father has introduced her to a girl which he purportedly asked my niece to call that girl tita. of course my niece questioned him and told him, "bakit? tita ko b yan?" the worst part is, my brother in law scolded her for asking that way. and there's also a time when he brought the girl to OUR house.. and asked his kid if she wants her tita to sleep with them in OUR house.( i am over stressing the word OUR because we own the house and he just lives with us.) what kind of a sick father would ask that to his child?

so anyway, when we saw him together with the girl, i confronted him. and of course he denied that he is with her and they are only friends (showbiz??) and that he is only accompanying her. and when i asked why, he couldnt give me valid answer. and after a long and grueling conversation between him and my sister, he admitted that he cheated with the girl.

my concerns are these:

1. my sister has filed a petition for her husband and child; given the situation, she no longer wants to continue petitioning the husband, just the child. what should she do to get custody for her child? since we don't have enough evidences to file concubinage, we can only get testimonies, for now.

2. can we use the testimony from their child about his father's escapades? what are the grounds to prove a father' incapability to take care of the child?

3. can admission about the cheating be used against my brother-in-law? since he also admitted it to his older sister, can we oblige the sister to present a testimony about the said admission? if she refuses and denies the admission, can she also be sued?

4. my niece is turning 8 this year, does it mean that she has to decide whom she wants to live with? since she's closer to her father now, her judgment could be biased. is there any law that would give my sister a chance to get the custody to her child?

You're advice will be greatly appreciated as i am clearly ignorant and confused about the law. Thank you!

I don't mean to be a marriage counselor, but I would recommend some form of intervention first instead of legal action. Perhaps the parents (from both sides) can be informed and they can talk to the husband. Baka matauhan and the marriage be saved.

Anyway, adultery is the act of a married woman of having sexual intercourse with another man. Concubinage is when a married man shall keep a mistress in the family home, or have sex with her under scandalous circumstances, or lives with her in another place.

If your sister really wanted to take drastic matters, I would recommend doing the following simultaneously. 1) Taking physical custody of the child; 2) Kicking the guy out of the house; 3) filing a criminal case of Violence Against Women and Children against the husband with the allegation that his infidelity is psychological violence. If he wants to contest custody, let him file the case.

Please note, however, that your sister's legal position will be sorely weakened if she is not physically here to enforce her right of custody. This cannot be exercised by proxy.

The husband's admission, the child's testimony are all evidence. The child's preference is not binding to the court in case a custody case ensues. The standard that the court employs is "the child's best interest". If it can be shown that, in spite of her choice of the father, it is still better that she stay with the mother, then the court will grant custody to the mother.